The first time I remember wanting to be popular was in the 4th grade, in Ms Sukala's class. God, I really, REALLY wanted to be friends with Tricia Lippy. She was so cool and so nice. She was blond, a super athlete, and really smart too. Then one day we started talking, unfortunately I don't remember what it was about - possibly the tween must-read "Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret," and the next thing I know I'm friends with the "It" girl. We were best friends for a couple years and it was wonderful. I got invited to all the slumber parties, and "asked out" by boys. It felt so good. Even after Tricia and I weren't best friends anymore, I still had that cool vibe from being her friend earlier in grade school.
Then I went to high school and the process had to start all over. I only knew a few students from my elementary school, but it didn't take long for me to figure out who I wanted to befriend: Julie Aaron. I knew that she was the girl to go to. She was totally different than Tricia; she was the bouncy cheerleader type, smart but not uber smart, not into sports (except from the sidelines), and funny. OMG she always made me laugh. It didn't take long for me to get into her crowd, and again, I really felt like I belonged there. Life was good.
Over the (ahem) 20 years since high school I've seldom felt that I needed to be a part of a certain crowd. Although I have to laugh, at one point during pharmacy school a friend of mine mentioned something about the "popular group" and I said "Wait, that's not us??" I was shocked. Ok, not really, we were 8-10 years older than most of the other students, but I still had to digest that fact.
Well, here I am at the ripe old age of 38, thinking I'm beyond all that crap and it goes and bites me in the butt. Hard. I want to belong. Here's the best part: it's a virtual group. They would be my cyber friends. Blogger buddies. I don't even know these women and I want to be friends with them. I read their blogs, I hope they read mine, I relate to their blogs like they are talking to me personally. I really want to go to Blog Camp (too stinkin bad it's in Denmark and I'm thinkin Bob will that trip the big heave ho). Sad? Yeah, probably. True? Unfortunately.
Oh well. I guess it's time to have another glass of wine and maybe plan an outing with my tangible friends. Although I want to belong to this awesome cyber group, I can tell you that my crowd of real-life friends are definitely the "In" girls...at least in my eyes.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
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4 comments:
Ha Ha...I want to go to blog camp too! Maybe we'll make it next year!
aw. blog camp will be virtual too, you know (once we figure out that stikam thingie out), so you can be there. tho' i'm afraid you'll have to have your own wine. that doesn't do so well on the virtual front.
i think bloggy friends are cool too, but you're right that the real kind are best. especially if you want to play cards.
Maybe it's the fact that you're a Capricorn that initially got me onto your blog but when I got to this post I realized-wow there's more to us than meets the eye here, lol. (should we even be using lol on blogs? It's the only way I know how at this point. Or I could use one of those smiley things, but which is more mature?) ANYWAY, I often felt like you did 'wanting to be part of the popular crowd' and usually I found my way to them until I realized who I was and that people should find their way to me instead.
Then I got onto here and thought...oh wait, I want to be 'in' again. Except this is a different kind of 'in'. It's the more mature, intelligent kind. Where it isn't about laughing the loudest or having better hair, none of that matters here. You and I just want what most Capricorns want...to show others our witty side and have them come to us...so be patient my fellow Cap they soon will come or so I've learned.
Have you ever noticed that you had to work extra hard but no matter what you always got what you wanted? Don't know if it's a Capricorn thing but I def have felt that way most of my life.
So maybe this is one of those times.
Good luck!
Thanks for the comments ladies. I have not followed Juls advice. I haven't been checking my older posts to see how far back I should go. that will have to be something I ask her.
But to all three of you, M81, Jul and LDd, thanks for reading. I really appreciate it!
ps- does this mean I'm a cool kid again??
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