A priest, a rabbi, and a democrat walked into a church... literally. The college
If you are the president of a college and know that there are families out there in the audience waiting to see their child (or sibling, parent, grandkid etc) walk across the stage, don't be a windbag and drone on and on. Seriously. Did you not see all the people walking around during your talk? IT'S CUZ YOU ARE A PRETENTIOUS BLOWHARD AND NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR YOU TALK ANYMORE. GET ON WITH IT.
Also, if you are an alum of said college and have all sorts of fancy degrees and sure you may have done great things for the embarrassingly low standards of kentucky's education back in the 80s, but if you have nothing to say THEN DON'T AGREE TO BE THE KEYNOTE SPEAKER. YOU ARE MIND-NUMBINGLY YAWN INDUCING.
Okay, that was my rant on the day. The actual diploma distribution was quick and easy. Oh, and the best speaker of the entire day? The future rabbi. I don't remember his name, but he was smart, funny, self-effacing, and a joy to listen to. He should have been keynote. I'm just saying.
When deciding whether to walk your dogs or pack before your trip you might as well know that neither choice will be the right one. You should have packed the night before, then you would have had time to remember all the things you forgot. Like
- your Kindle
- your phone charger
- your socks
- your underwear