I just don't get it. Seriously. I mean, I have 2 teenage daughters and they are sooo different! They come from the same gene pool. Their father (an idiot - sorry) and their mother (maybe an idiot, but Ihope not) made both girls...how can they be polar opposites??
Case in point: This Morning
Jessica: 16 years old. Basically a mess; messy room, messy bathroom, messy car, messy grades, messy life. Has to be at EHS at 7:15am for the ACT. Guess when she wakes up...7:15. When I go into her room and say "JESSICA! It's 7:15! Get up!!" Her response? "You are F***ing kidding me!" My answer, "NO, I am not F***ing kidding you." Well, the alarm clock didn't go off (how many mornings have I heard this??) It's someone elses fault, it always is. So I try to be calm and meet her in the kitchen. "Do you have your ID?" "Yes" "Calculator?" "Yes" "ACT notice?" "Yes" "Pencils?" "YES!" "Ok Jessie, I love you, do well..." Well, she storms out of the house. 10 minutes late the phone rings. I just looked at Bob and said "You answer it. I can't handle it." Of course, Jessica couldn't find her wallet and wanted to know if it was on the kitchen table (where she had been throwing things this morning). It wasn't. It wasn't in her room - at least not that we could tell, it looks like a bomb hit it so really theres no finding anything unless it's a dirty bowl or dirty underwear. Agggghhhh! I really want to pull my hair out. She called again (and again I give the phone to Bob), and asked if he thought she could get in with a copy of her license. We both agree -- we have no idea but give it a shot.
Apparently they let her in. I didnt get any more phone calls so I assume all is well.
Lets look at the other child now. Ashley. 14 years old. She had a 10am flight to Reno, NV this morning. She had some laundry to finish up last night, but she did it. I told her we were going to leave the house at 8am. At 7:15, when I was busy freaking out with Jessica, Ashley was in the kitchen, calmly getting her carry on bag together. As Jess flies out of the room in a tizzy, I tell Ashley I'll be ready in a few. She asked me if we can go to Starbucks for breakfast since she's ready early. I thank God for her. Now don't get me wrong. She is not the "perfect kid". Her room gets messy, I find cups and dishes all over, the bathroom usually needs to be cleaned. But seriously. We say "clean it" and it get's cleaned. I say "do this" and it gets done. Grades? Really good. Teachers like her, parents like her, coaches like her.
Why? How? How can 2 children with the same 23 pairs of chomosomes be sooo drastically different? One is tall, the other short. One is heavy, the other not so much. One has huge feet, the other average. One freaks out in a heart beat, the other not so much. One is on antidepressants, one isn't. It's so hard. The hardest part though is that I see myself in all of it. The good, the bad and the ugly. It's all me. If you remember your college genetics, there are genotypes and phenotypes. Organisims (aka kids) share the same genotype if they have the same genes. Easy, same mom and dad. They have the same phenotype if they look alike or function alike. HELLOOO! What if they don't look alike OR function alike?? They both look and function like me, but not like each other! WEIRD is all I have to say.
One good thought. Genotype is fixed. The girls are going to always have my genes - for better or for worse. However, phenotypes can change! They can go through several changes throughout the life of the organsim. It's all based on environment. Good news...now how do I put that into action??