Honest Scrap

Today I was trying to decide what I should write about. My last post was from 3 days ago, so really it's time for me to say something, but I'm lacking in inspiration. Then I remembered Otins blog from last week, the Honest Scrap Award. I figured if I couldn't come up with anything intelligent to say, I might as well spill some truths about myself. Some of these are pretty bad. Really. But, I grew up Catholic and I carry guilt around with me like so much baggage, maybe this will be cathartic. Or maybe I'll just be driven out of the blogosphere forever... I'm not sure. Just know that for some more than others, it was a long time ago, I was stupid, and so lucky there were no consequences to anyone other than myself...

The Honest Scrap Award rules are as follows:

* “The Honest Scrap” award is not one to hold all to your self but it must be shared!

* The recipient has to tell 10 true things about themselves in their blog that no one else knows.

* The recipient has to pass along this prestigious award to 10 more bloggers.

* Those 10 bloggers all have to be notified they have been given this award.

* Those 10 bloggers should link back to the blog that awarded them.

Here are 10 things some shocking, some not:

1. The story I tell of how I lost my virginity isn't true. Well, it is a true story, but it was the 2nd time, not the first. I don't like the first time. It doesn't suit me or my life. It's not who I am. I choose not to accept it. I don't like it, I don't think about it, and I don't talk about it. And pretty much, as far as I'm concerned, it didn't happen. The way I tell it is how I want to remember it.

2. When I was in about the 2nd grade I wanted a candy lipstick from the 7/11 and my mom wouldn't buy it for me. I pretended like I put it back, but really I just put it in my pocket. You might think that I was young and didn't know any better, but I did know better. That's why I sat under the dining room table to eat it so my mom wouldn't see me.

3. I was a real shit when I was in junior high. I'm surprised my parents didn't ship me off to boarding school or something. By the 8th grade I was the kid that all the other parents wouldn't let play with their kids. Luckily I went to a high school where only a few people knew me and I had the chance to start over.

4. I had a summer of slutdom. It was after a particularly hard break-up and I sought solace where ever I could find it. Amazingly enough, I could find plenty of it. Also amazingly enough, it did nothing to mend my broken heart.

5. I learned the hard way that you couldn't buy love. I bought guys stuff all the time (dinner, a motorcycle, a car, paid rent, etc). They still left, and I was still alone. Sad thing is, I didn't learn after the first guy. Or the second.

6. My loser starter ex-husband and I had a very stormy marriage. He threw me across the room once and I forgave him. He did it a month later and I filed for divorce.

7. I have taken 2 dogs and 4 cats to the pound. I don't know if they ever made it out alive. It was several years ago, but I still feel horribly guilty. I volunteer at Hope Rescues as penance.

8. When #5 was in the 6th grade I slapped her across the face. Hard. I was so mad, and she just kept pushing and pushing. She told me I hit like a girl. I couldn't help but laugh.

9. I have been in and out of the shrinks office since junior high. I haven't been since 2005 and this is the longest I think I've gone without one. Most of the time I'm fine about it. But I have one obsession that I can't seem to shake. Although years of shrinking didn't get rid of it either, so maybe it's just a part of me.

10. I had worse things on here, but decided to take them off. Even I know that peoples tolerance has limits. Maybe I'm just an evil person.

Well... there ya go. That's who I am. I decided not to tag anyone because I don't know who wants to share dark secrets. So, please, take it and share so that I don't feel like I'm the only bad guy out there...